Separation Anxiety...not just for tots.

The Hubs has left for his round of tests. I'm already missing him.

We're both glad that, after so many reschedulings, the appointments are finally going through but I find myself pining for him.

I actually found myself standing in the hall outside our bedroom a few moments ago, just staring at the wall and wondering what to do now that the boys are asleep and I'm alone.

Should I paint?

Edit some of my photogs online?

Read my J.D. Robb mystery or play the new Batman game on the X Box?

Simply go to bed or watch t.v.?

I have all those things to choose from (including some chores, but I'm turning a blind eye for the mo') and what did I find myself doing? Staring at a wall while pining for my Hubs.

What can I say? Despite how we may sometimes irk one another, he's my best friend and I miss him when the man ain't here.

"Why couldn't they have come up with this sooner?"

We, in our humble home, have discovered a delightful new (to us) baby item. It's one of those things that I wish we had been able to get our exhausted parental hands on when the Bubs was a baby.

It's called a Bumbo Seat and the E-man loves it! We noticed that he loved to sit upright whenever he could, but we weren't always able to accomodate him...crying ensued. I happened to stumble across this infant seat in one of my online window shopping excursions and did some quick research to make sure it was worth the cashey-cash. Every review I read said to try it out in the store to make sure the legs fit.

Okay. Can do....and did. Everything was fine. We just have to make sure we don't put him in it too soon after he eats or else what went down would just come back up again. Ick.

The E-man LOVES his little blue chair and we love it right along with him! The Hubby and Bubs, true to form, got a little goofy with it. This time I have evidence!! See for yourself.

Football...it doesn't bother me, Y'all!

I know that there may be those of you who are glad that football season is over. No more shows about stats and replays of the previous days games. No more football lingo being slung around...things like, "tight end, pass/reception ratio, third down conversions", etc.

At my house it's a different story. The Hubby and I both like to watch football and, as Steelers fans, are totally stoked that they won their 6th Super Bowl title which is the most in the league! We love to watch Roethlisberger scramble in the pocket and evade tackle after tackle, Hines Ward grin his way through a game, Heath Miller, Willie Parker and Santonio Holmes all make dynamic plays and then there's my favorite - Troy Polamalu. Man that guy knows how to read a play and hustle!

Now, I grew up watching the occasional game but I wasn't particularly interested in the sport as a whole. When the Hubs and I met he slowly but surely got, not only me, but my Mom into watching the games. He didn't mind all of our questions or inane comments (still doesn't), or the fact that we'd talk at all which I know some men hate during games. I think his patience went a long way to me being more receptive to him watching the games and to me joining in with him. Now, we have something else to talk about and he feels more comfortable in his own home. He's even been introducing the Bubs to the sport and invites him to come hang with him during the games. Invites, not forces. If the Bubs isn't in the mood, the Hubs doesn't push the issue. The last few weeks, though, the Bubs has enjoyed hanging out with me and his daddy while we watch football....even if he looses interest after a while and just plays with his trains on the floor. We're together and that's the whole point.

Last night, we had our own little Super Bowl party here at the house. We chowed down on apple and Snicker salad, bacon wrapped Lil' Smokies baked in a little brown sugar, veggies and dip, the usual chips and salsa, and for the Bubs some pepperoni and cheese with Ritz crackers. The Hubby thought that I shouldn't have gone through the trouble but he complimented me the whole evening and we all enjoyed the festivities.

Hmmmm. Speaking of those goodies, I think there are some leftovers and I'm having a craving. Gotta go!!

Yes, Anna, there is carpet under all those toys...

I can sure tell that Hubby is on leave (marine-speak for vacation)! 'Cause lookey, lookey to the left, my peeps. That is the carpet in the Bubs's playroom...toy free...vacummed....Febreezed within an inch of its life....Fab-U-Lous!! Hubby was a little bemused by me snapping pics of the newly cleaned area, but I couldn't help myself. As tickled as I was with the Hubby's efforts, the Bubs was both ecstatic and a little in awe of his Daddy. He has flat out enjoyed playing in the space and has worked extra hard to keep things clean for his Daddy. We've both been quite impressed.

I know I've often mentioned how many Thomas the Tank Engine toys the Bubs has and now here's some proof. And this isn't even all of it! Five containers of tracks, a pile of buildings and accessories, a huge plastic drawerful of trains....and lions and tigers and bears, oh my! This is why he was told to pick out one Thomas item for Christmas this year. I think that family members will also be given alternative gift ideas. Obviously, the child doesn't need any more trains or tracks!

Now, Thomas videos on the other hand......well, at least they take up less space!

To them it was just a job...

"It's just a job," my husband tells me. He often refuses any acknowledgement of his service in the military. He has stacks of certificates, plaques and commendations that he's earned over the years tucked away in his closet. The only time we see his "stack" of ribbons and medals is when he has to break out the dress blues for a wedding, funeral or inspection. That stack has become considerable.

I've noticed that he's not the only one to eschew any praise or acknowledgements that are offered. Many see their service as "just a job". There's nothing wrong with that. It may be a mindset that helps them cope or see their demanding jobs through. Demanding, by the way, is such a gross understatement. They are asked to give everything and more...sometimes on a daily basis.

Where is my place in all this? I stand, I watch, I support, I love, I forgive and I understand. I stand for him when others may not be able to, I watch out for him when his eyes are focused on others, I support him when he can't hold himself up, I love him for who he is not for who he thinks he should be, I forgive him because the obligations placed on his shoulders aren't his fault, and I understand because that's what he needs, not judgements.

To my Marine~ My love, I may not see every sacrifice you make for our family and others', but I know that they're being made all the same. Thank you.

I really don't wanna....but I might hafta

So there I was, sitting at my kitchen table taking a break from dishes and laundry to catch a few scenes of a movie I had going on my laptop when --BAM! The thing that I've been avoiding thinking about slaps me silly across the face. That thing is The Move.

Yep, for those of you who are just stoppin' by and the ones that have, understandably forgotten, there's a very real possibility that we may be getting orders to move across the country. The Hubs is excited about the job change and the chance he'll be getting to learn new skills and I can't blame him. He gives up so much to support our family that I can't begrudge him the joy of doing something different and, possibly, fun.

I seem to have hit a bit of a wall about the whole thing, though. When Hubs brings the subject up, I freeze and go straight into anxiety mode. When he brings home distressing news, I'm usually able to put on a brave front, act like it's all okay and get on with things. But this is almost too much for me to handle these days. Then the guilt comes crashing in 'cause Hubs feels like the move is his fault, personally and I'm making him feel that way with all my grief. Oy. I feel slightly like a whiney child that hasn't gotten it's way...."I don't wanna move! No, no, no! It's too far!"

Hubby did tell me at one point that we may be able to stay in this area for a while longer, but he'd have to deploy in the spring (completely missing the birth of our second child) which means he'd, once again, be in harm's way. It's a no win situation that we're both feeling the pressure to somehow make work. I've learned after almost ten years of being married to a marine that getting one's hopes up about anything that might be good news from the Corps is a waste of time and energy. I'll just keep trying to pray....and not just cry my way through. God is able to keep us in this area, but the hard thing to comprehend is that, just maybe, this is what we're supposed to do. A quandery, ain't it?

Fall Weather and Gettin' Real

It's a cool and overcast day down here and I'm lovin' it! This is my kind of weather. I love this time of year when things begin to cool down a bit and the leaves are changing. This is also one of Hubby's fave times of the year, especially since he hasn't had a fall or winter in, oh let's see....about 3 years! The poor man, however, isn't here to enjoy the lovely weather. He'll be home in another week or so when his current assignment (in the desert) is over. The Bubs and I are missin' him something fierce!

On another subject, I think the "realness" of being prego is beginning to sink in. With all the major changes going on in our family, I allowed it to get bundled up and confused with all the stresses that were happening. Not to mention, I was in shock. I mean, I knew we were trying for another child but I don't think I was expecting things to happen so very quickly. Don't missunderstand me, I'm grateful that concieving went so well because for many other couples it doesn't. Again, it just happened so fast.

Yet, as I browse through baby sections, listen to the many excited exclamations over our news, and go through the day to day bodily changes that come with carrying a baby.....it's becoming both real and even more of a joy than I was previously seeing it as.

We're hoping for a girl. Well, I should say that I'm hoping for a girl and that my two guys are hoping for one of each! The last time that Hubby made a twin joke I think I tossed a shoe at him. If, by some quirk, we have twins I'll do my best to handle everything....but, honestly, one would be perfectly wonderful for me. ~I say, "by some quirk" because, as far as I know, twins don't run in the family.......I hope!~

Confessions of a Bloggy Slacker

Alrighty. I admit it. I did a bad, bad thing *cue bad, bad Chris Isaac song*. My evenings have not been as devoted to jotting down bloggy blurbs since the hubs came home.

There. I said it.

I can't seem to get into any kind of routine when it comes to posting on here....you know, with any semblance of regularity. It's not that I don't have anything to write about. Oh, no! For once this here gal has bloggity ideas out the oodie (and, no, you don't wanna know what that is!)...just no time to post. Oi. I have, however, spent time flitting from fave blog to fave blog readin' up a storm the last few days when I can grab a second. By the way, the hubs still gets this bemused look on his face when I laugh out loud at some of the hilarities y'all post. Don't get me wrong, he's glad that I've found something I enjoy and even finds time to read what I've written (and likes it), but the whole concept has still got him befuddled.

Anyhoo~ To me, and I might be alone in this, the time to blog is in the evening after the day's work is done and I'm kicked back on the couch with recorded episodes of "Are You Being Served" on the telly, a glass of sweet tea at the ready and the Bubs asleep in his room. Y'all that is totally different now. I don't consider it a bad thing, just something else to get used to in a long line of blessed adjustments. -I say "blessed adjustments" 'cause the hubs could still be deployed, injured or worse. So all these adjustments that we're all goin' through "ain't nuttin' but a thang" as the hubs says!-

So, for now, bloggity blurbs will just hafta be jotted down whenevah and wherevah I can find a second to plop my tush down with my laptop and "I am unanimous in this". (Couldn't resist the Mrs. Slocombe quote from Are You Being Served) Do you subscibe to same theory of wherever/whenever or have you figured out how to eek out time from your schedule for blogging that's (anywhere near) regular? Are you a mornin' or an evenin' blurb jotter? I'm curious.......

Wonderful Family + Sleepover 4 Bubs = DATE NIGHT!!!

Well hang me upside down, paint me pink, and smack me silly!! I've got a date!

"How?", you ask.

'Cause I've got a fabulous Mom, Dad & Aunt D. who are keeping the Bubs overnight so Hubby and I can stare at each other over dinner and try to think of a topic of conversation that doesn't revolve around parenting. Wish us luck. I kid of course since we are usually able to find things to talk about that don't totally center around our Bubs. We love him, but we have vowed not to be the couple that, as their marriage continues, suddenly realizes that we don't have a thing to talk about and nothing in common.

Thinking about dating takes me back to our first few dates....fun, relaxed and uncomplicated. To put it simply, he got me. There's a quote by Drew Barrymore that comes to mind about dating, "Let your freak flag fly, and if someone doesn't get you, move on". Thankfully, he got me and my odd sense of humor and my weird southern way of talkin' so I didn't have to move on. He was the first man I'd met that was honestly interested in me as a person and didn't take off runnin for the hills once he got to know me. Quite the opposite, in fact. He told me he loved me after about a week and trust me, Y'all, I felt the same way. Ahhh.......Excuse me while I have a moment of silence to remember that moment.........................

So I'm off to break out the bushhog (aka my razor), slather on some smell goods, slap some makeup on, blow out my frizzy locks with a ginormous round brush and figure out what to wear. It's been so long since I've felt like a girly-girl with my hubby, it's pitiful! Don't get me wrong, the man tells me I'm beautiful when I've got bed-head and not a lick of makeup on, but it's always fun to get all beautificated and know he appreciates the effort.

The only thing is, we are having a hard time deciding what to do. What do you do when you folks have a chance to go on a date night?

I saw this pic and I couldn't resist.

Days of Adjusting...

Sooooo.......I know it's been a few days since I've posted anything new on here, but I think that's okay considering that this is the first time I've seen my hubby in 7 months! The three of us have all been enjoying being around one another while takin' it easy around the house, playing with the new Wii (now that's a post for another day, folks!!), laughing at one another's shenanigans and basically just lovin' the fact that we're together again.

Now, as fabulous as it is that we're united again, that doesn't mean that we all haven't had to begin to adjust. Hubby is having to get back into a "civilized" routine and the Bubs and I are havin' to get used to taking Hubby into consideration when it comes to our little daily routines. The Bubs, in particular, is finding it harder to get away with things now that I have backup. *maniacal cackle of laughter* Ooohhh, it's so very nice to have backup again!

I know that there will be bumps along the road to re-adjustment and that's okay. None of us are perfect, but we love each other and are willing to do what it takes to have a healthy, functioning family. (Notice I didn't say a perfect family! I mean, what does that look like anyway? It's gotta be a myth...)

Wordless Wednesday....Um, almost.

Looking for Daddy....even though Mommy has told me a gazillion times that he's not ready, yet!

"I found Daddy's gear, Mom!"

Finally, a place to sit down...

Here they come!!!

I should have moved just a bit faster with this pic. What can I say? I was "in the moment"!

My two guys, reunited at last.

Yay, Woo-hoo and Hallelujah!

My man is home, y'all!! *jumping up and down squeeling* He got in just before lunch time. Safe and sound...just a little funky from travelin' for a couple days. The Bubs can't stop talking to him about his new train layout and anything else that happens to pop into his precious, excited noggin. I am just reveling in the waves of relief that are sweeping over me....and copping as many feels as I can get away with (without the Bubs seeing, of course!). I'm enjoying that partcular marital right to its fullest, people!

Moving right along.....

I took some pictures, but I have to sort through them with Hubby to see what's okay to display on here. Once that's done I will definitely be sharing them!

I must say that since I've started this blogging venture, I've made a few friends who have been so supportive in their comments to me while my Hubby has been gone. Many, many thanks, Shugs. You've helped me keep a hold of my sanity and sense of humor.....I've always found that those two things go hand in hand for me! ~A special thanks to my family. Without your love, prayers and support I wouldn't be able to get through many things that military life throws at our family. Kisses and hugs.

Homecoming Mixtapes

I tend to have a single song that sticks with me right around hubby's homecomings. I think the first two times it was "At Last" by Etta James. While that will continue to remain among my top faves, I stumbled across another song that I've been listenin' to over and over. I was cruising my Zune marketplace for some new tunes and I came across this duet "Lucky" from Jason Mraz's album, We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things. , with Colbie Caillat. ~In fact, it might even be playing for you now if my playlist is working right.~ I got the goofiest grin on my face when I started listenin' to the words the first time I heard it. It perfectly captures how I'm feeling...*happy sigh*

Now, on the flip side...while I do enjoy the sentiment of the song, I know without a shadow of a doubt that it was God's grace and provision that kept my husband safe. Can I get a Amen?

In a word...

Overwhelmed-

1) to surge over and submurge; engulf
2)
a) to defeat completely and decisively
b) to affect deeply in mind or emotion
3) to present with an excessive amount
4) to turn over; upset

Most of the above definitions for the word overwhelmed perfectly sum up how I'm feelin' right about now. A few months ago when I envisioned being this close to Hubby coming home, this is not how I thought I'd be feeling. The last couple of weeks have been crazy and it seems like we keep getting hit with one financial need after another...you know, right when I'm trying to dedicate most of our savings for our upcoming getaway after Hubby comes home. *sigh*

And, yes, I have officially lapsed into throwing a full-blown pity party. Table for one, please.

I know that things will prob'ly work out in the end, but right now in this moment, I'm tired. I'm tired of handling things alone without any spouse support. In short, I am so ready for my man to be home, it's sooo not funny. When my hubby leaves, I not only lose readily available spousal input and support, I'm out of contact with my best friend as well. No, we do not have a perfect marriage and we don't always agree on every little thing, but there is definitly comfort in knowing that he has my back when I'm facing tough decisions...and vice-a-versa. Then there's the really fun part where I second-guess every decision I've made without him and begin to work out justifications to tell him when he asks, "Why?"

We've had to accept that we can't change what's had to happen while we've been apart and that we each do the best we can. We don't judge or play the "who had it worse game" because that would be a waste of time and extremely hurtful for us both.....but I still get so tense about it, for some very silly reason.

So, please forgive me for my whining and know that it won't be a permanent thing. From past experience, I know that right before he gets home, I'll be crazy excited (and very relieved). For now, I'm gonna chill with my Bubs and try to let it all go for a little while.

Peace, Y'all~
Anna K.

Felt like he was right there with me....

Stop! Before you read any further, please listen to the song "More Time" by NEEDTOBREATHE that's on my playlist (bottom of the page). I'm asking this because it's neccessary for understanding this post, y'all.

I'm a music nut. I love it. I need it. I'm surrounded by it most of the time. I've come to the realization that, outside of prayer, it's the one thing that can lift my mood or smooth out rough days for me. I recently purchased the P.S I Love You soundtrack and this particular song captured my attention. It felt like my hubby was sitting right there with me singing this to me. Not because the singer's voice is like hubby's, but the words......the words were such an echo of some of the things he's been telling me the last few weeks.

"Hold on, Love. Just a few more months and we'll be together. I know you understand. I love you and the Bubs."

I do understand and I know that this isn't what he had planned. As the quote goes, "Life is what happens while you're busy making plans." So I'll wait as long as I need to until he's safely home with us. He's worth every single moment.