Monday, March 10, 2008

Passion Pursued Despite Fear

I suffer from stage fright. This is a funny fact considering that I get up and sing in a trio at church almost every Sunday. I've always struggled with it, but most especially when I sing. There's really no way to cover up a mistake when you are singing...especially when using a microphone! You're out there for the world to see and hear and it feels like being naked in a room of formally dressed, beautiful people with all of your flaws and shortcomings bared for them to analyze. It's not a fun feeling.

So why do I do it? Because I believe that when you are graced with any ability, no matter how large or small, it should be used to share the love of God with people who need to hear or see it. I sing because it's something I feel I'm supposed to do and it's something that is such an inherent part of my life, it would be hard not to do it. It's like breathing for me, something that's neccessary for living and unconciously done.

Part of the reason I still struggle with nerves when I sing is because I have no formal training whatsoever. I don't know how to read music. I sing what I hear when a song is played. I am privileged to sing with two wonderful and understanding singers and musicians. My father plays the piano and our friend Brenda sings soprano while I sing alto. My dad is an incredibly talented pianist who has played since he was a very young boy. He is formally trained, but also plays by ear. He also has two CD's out. Brenda is trained in voice with a focus on opera and has adapted very well to being handed a page of words to learn and a tune on the piano to listen to(no sheet music). We all have and like different styles of singing and music, but are united in wanting to edify our church through praise and worship. This is not always an easy thing considering our church has had little to no exposure to anything like that, but they are good people who are trying to learn.

I've said all of that to ask this - Is there anything in your life that is so much a part of you that you would face a fear to continue doing it?


Jonny's Mommy said...

Oh gosh...writing I guess and photography.

I'm putting out there my words and what I see through the camera and some people may hate both or criticize and at times I'm very fearful to do either and would rather not. In my job I have to do it or lose my job so I face it every day. that and talking to people to get information for stories.
But I have to do it. I've always written. I've always taken photographs. I can't imagine not doing either.

Jonny's Mommy said...

By the way, I find it surprising that you have no professional training yet sing as well as you do.

Anna K. said...

jonny's mommy-

I've always had a great amount of respect for what you do, especially considering that it's such a personal hurdle for you to jump...every time you go to work!

Thimbleanna said...

Good for you that you sing in spite of your stage fright! I'll have to give that question some thought -- I can't think of anything really -- I just blindly dive in LOL!