Wednesday, December 10, 2008

To dream a little dream...

I've always had dreams that were vivid and realistic. So vivid and realistic, in fact, that even when I woke up it was hard to tell whether or not I was really awake. If I was eating in the dream, I tasted it. I smelled, felt, saw and heard things as if I was walking around in a fully concious state. Trippy, to say the least!

I know that dreaming increases when one is pregnant from all the medical info I've glanced through recently. Sleeping more increases the oppurtunities to dream and those lovely middle of the night bathroom trips ensure a better recall of them. Every. Little. Detail.

Lately my dreams haven't been restful in the least. Nightmarish would be the better term. It started a couple of nights ago and hasn't let up since. One such nightmare featured me dying in a horrific car accident and the other featured the Bubs being hurt and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I've been having flashbacks of the dreams during the daytime. My husband had to lay down with me today in an effort to get me to take my usual nap. I didn't want to have another dream. I eventually drifted off after he laid his hand on my tummy/baby and quietly prayed for me.

It dawned on me earlier this evening that both dreams, if I could look past the horrific nature of them, highlighted the fact that, in both, the situations were out of my control. I couldn't stop the car or protect Bubs. Telling fact, isn't it?

I must remember that even when it feels like my life, or facets of it, are out of my control that I have a Heavenly Father who is holding my life and the life of my loved ones in the palm of His infinitely capable and loving hands. I haven't been endowed with a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. I can't let the nightmares overtake my peace and my day-to-day life.

Y'all know my life is a soundtrack...well, there's a Fernando Ortega song that goes along with how I'm feeling called Jesus, King of Angels. The melody is reminiscent of a lullaby, but the words are so very powerful. I invite you to have a listen and revel in the sense of peace it evokes.


Midwest Mom said...

I had a few nightmares with my third pregnancy. They usually involved something happening to me or to the rest of my family and us being separated. Who knows what the hormones are doing to your brain right now? I hope they will pass.

And your husband is a darling to hold you and pray with you when you needed him.

Sending good thoughts your way, MM

Jonny's Mommy said...

My dreams were vivid too and I always seemed to do something that hurt the baby. It was awful. I think you are right, it goes back to us feeling as if things are out of control and that we can't control the most important things of our life.

But yes, God is in control and we have to remember that. It is sooo hard to do.

I'll be praying for you. Hang in there.

Joanna said...

Sorry you've been under attack. Been praying for you.

Anna K. said...

Thanks for the good thoughts and prayers that y'all are sending my way! I've been sleeping easier since I told my husband what was going on and, yes, blogged about it. I say bring on the funny dreams that make me wake up laughin'!

Joanna said...

I left you something on my blog.