Thursday, May 7, 2009


My momma died late yesterday evening after a long battle with not just one, but two kinds of cancer and all the complications that went along with them. My precious, sassy, wise and fiercely loving momma has gone to dance in Heaven. No more pain, no more tears, no more being trapped in a body that's betrayed her, no more loss of dignity, no more hospital visits or endless trips to doctors' offices. Just peace.

The Hubby and I had to tell the Bubs this morning. He cried. We're not sure how much he understood, but we told him that any and all questions are okay. He's already asked us, "Who's gonna be my Ammah now?"

Just when I think my heart couldn't break anymore...

I'm sure we'll be explaining things repeatedly for a while, yet. Whatever he needs. We decided to keep him out of school for today to give him a bit of time to adjust without so much outside attention...however well intentioned.

I know it's not logical, but I don't understand why the rest of the world is continuing to function when ours has screeched to a halt. Kind of childish of me, isn't it?

Well, it's time for me to go as there are a million decisions to be made and, for now, I need those decisions to keep me moving. Does that make sense?


Midwest Mom said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Blessings and peace,

Julia at Midwest Moms

Lisa (Jonny's Mommy) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joanna said...

Aww - I am so sorry. Yes, it totally makes sense. Make you sort of mad to see the sun shining when life is just crappy.

Hugs to you and your family. I'll be praying for ya.

Lisa (Jonny's Mommy) said...

I am crying as I read this. You know our prayers are with you. And I can completely relate to feeling confused as to how everyone else's life can continue when yours has come to a screeching halt. Today I am in such a fog and have been able to think of nothing but your mom, you all, and my mom as she and dad and Bryan prepare to leave for the funeral. I would have to keep busy as well. I wouldn't know how else to handle it. If I can do anything at all . . . please tell me. I love you all so much. I just wish I could have been there to "love" Aunt J's neck one more time. Tell Bubs we love him too. He's such a sweetheart.

Octamom said...

So sorry to hear of your loss--and so thrilled for your momma that she has graduated from this vale of tears and is resting with our Lord~