To them it was just a job...

"It's just a job," my husband tells me. He often refuses any acknowledgement of his service in the military. He has stacks of certificates, plaques and commendations that he's earned over the years tucked away in his closet. The only time we see his "stack" of ribbons and medals is when he has to break out the dress blues for a wedding, funeral or inspection. That stack has become considerable.

I've noticed that he's not the only one to eschew any praise or acknowledgements that are offered. Many see their service as "just a job". There's nothing wrong with that. It may be a mindset that helps them cope or see their demanding jobs through. Demanding, by the way, is such a gross understatement. They are asked to give everything and more...sometimes on a daily basis.

Where is my place in all this? I stand, I watch, I support, I love, I forgive and I understand. I stand for him when others may not be able to, I watch out for him when his eyes are focused on others, I support him when he can't hold himself up, I love him for who he is not for who he thinks he should be, I forgive him because the obligations placed on his shoulders aren't his fault, and I understand because that's what he needs, not judgements.

To my Marine~ My love, I may not see every sacrifice you make for our family and others', but I know that they're being made all the same. Thank you.

I really don't wanna....but I might hafta

So there I was, sitting at my kitchen table taking a break from dishes and laundry to catch a few scenes of a movie I had going on my laptop when --BAM! The thing that I've been avoiding thinking about slaps me silly across the face. That thing is The Move.

Yep, for those of you who are just stoppin' by and the ones that have, understandably forgotten, there's a very real possibility that we may be getting orders to move across the country. The Hubs is excited about the job change and the chance he'll be getting to learn new skills and I can't blame him. He gives up so much to support our family that I can't begrudge him the joy of doing something different and, possibly, fun.

I seem to have hit a bit of a wall about the whole thing, though. When Hubs brings the subject up, I freeze and go straight into anxiety mode. When he brings home distressing news, I'm usually able to put on a brave front, act like it's all okay and get on with things. But this is almost too much for me to handle these days. Then the guilt comes crashing in 'cause Hubs feels like the move is his fault, personally and I'm making him feel that way with all my grief. Oy. I feel slightly like a whiney child that hasn't gotten it's way...."I don't wanna move! No, no, no! It's too far!"

Hubby did tell me at one point that we may be able to stay in this area for a while longer, but he'd have to deploy in the spring (completely missing the birth of our second child) which means he'd, once again, be in harm's way. It's a no win situation that we're both feeling the pressure to somehow make work. I've learned after almost ten years of being married to a marine that getting one's hopes up about anything that might be good news from the Corps is a waste of time and energy. I'll just keep trying to pray....and not just cry my way through. God is able to keep us in this area, but the hard thing to comprehend is that, just maybe, this is what we're supposed to do. A quandery, ain't it?

"Forced Fun" that actually turned out to be fun........

I loathe going to the "forced fun" events that come with the territory when you're in the military. By forced fun, I mean that when an officer "invites" you and yours over to their house or out to eat, you go. No ifs, ands or buts about it, and you better have a life threatening or work-related reason for not showing up. Ugh. I hate standing around in a room full of people feeling out of place and not knowing the first thing to talk to anyone about. It makes me especially uncomfortable when people think, because I smile occasionally and act like I've been raised right by being mannerly ('cause I was, y'all), that I'm going to be the one that's outgoing and get the conversations started. As if!!

Well thank the precious Baby Jesus, it wasn't like that at the BBQ we just went to! The hostess was so friendly and relaxed that she immediately put me at ease. We ended up talking about everything under the sun in between our mommy duties and her hostess duties. Even Hubs commented on how well we got along. I actually had a good time which, believe me, NEVER happens. The Bubs had so much fun playing with the other kids that were there he didn't want to leave.

Sounds like someone I could be friends with, right? *sigh* They're moving in 6 days.

That's what it's like around here. Friendships are for a season......we loose touch because of relocations, and then eventually end up renewing aquaintances after a few years when everybody's back at the same place again.

As we were talking about her family's new duty station and the surrounding areas, I could tell she was excited and looking forward to the change. She wasn't even really fazed that she had to get a whole house ready for the movers in just under a week. She's my new hero, people! Moving with the military is an involved process. Part of what is required before a move is a house inventory. Every item in your house has to be enumerated and a weight guesstimate for each has to be included. The weight requirements are set by rank and you cannot go over. We would have to have a yard sale to end all yard sales to get rid of stuff in our house if we had to meet any weight requirements right now!

Well, I'm glad and a trifle relieved that we were able to have a good time, but a little sad that a potential friend is moving away so soon. I wish them well and look forward to possibly meeting up again down the road.