Rocking, rocking, rocking......
E-man's slowly going limp on my chest, drifting into dreams and rest. I'm covered in baby messes and wearing the same p.j. pants I wore yesterday, not yet having had a chance to change out of them...and it's going on 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The Bubs is in his bed having disobeyed me about something we'd already had many talks about. No big scene or useless yelling, just a few words to remind him of the rule and why he's being punished. I don't hear anything so I think he's gone to sleep. That's probably what he needed anyway. The memory of his little face falling when I told him that he was too good and too smart to have pulled the stunt that he did is still fresh in my mind.
The house is even messier than usual. Furniture shoved here and there, boxes scattered in the kitchen waiting to be filled before the demolition begins, patches of plywood here and there waiting to be replaced with finished flooring, along with the usual air of unkemptness that accompainies the middle of the week. Here I sit, lacking the energy and motivation to dive in and tackle it all.
The Hubs woke up this morning with pain, as he does all too often these days. His appointments have been postponed yet again. I can't help but feel frustrated on his behalf...these appointments are a big part of figuring out why, slowly and painfully, his body is betraying him.
In the middle of all of these things, I have an epiphany that quiets the frustrations, worries and distractions: I am blessed.
Yes, I said blessed.
I have a wonderful family that, even though we have our struggles, I love and who love me in return. I have a home in a world where having one has become a precious thing and not just the accepted norm. I have a Saviour that, no matter my many failings, stumblings and wrongdoings, continues to faithfully and lovingly forgive me.
Such simple, wondrous things that I know are infinitely dear, but I had begun to lose sight of their value as I let myself get caught up in distractions that come with the process of living life.
There you have it, my big epipany while wearing baby puke covered p.j.'s.
1 comment:
Sorry I missed this post somehow. I have a few like this, I think I must have hit "all read" in my reader or something. ANyhow, this was a nice post.. . .. I think that gentleman up there is "spam"/.
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