Ouch! I'm sore. It's a good kind of sore, though, if that makes any sense.
I went over to Dad's house today and helped him paint a room. He used to paint buildings for a little extra cash when he was younger and, to this day, hates to pick up a roller. So, I figured that if I helped he wouldn't mind it so much. We managed to get the closet Kilzed/primed and a good first coat on the walls. One more quick coat, some baseboard and ceiling touch-ups and we'll be done. Thank goodness.
He's made other changes around the house, too. Does this bother me? Not a bit.
You see, from the shower curtain in the bathroom to the arrangement of certain things around the house, Mom's homey touches are everywhere. For me, seeing them is the very essence of bittersweet. I can just imagine what it's like for Dad, who is surrounded by it every night. I think it's healthy that he's made changes like new bedding, a different shower curtain, etc.
Her chair that she always sat in is still in the livingroom, there are still pictures of her up around the house and that same air of "homeyness" abounds. I need that. So does Dad, I think.
As to new routines, we've all had to adjust a great deal. Sundays are particularly hard as this was the day that we'd get together after church at Mom and Dad's house for a lunch that Aunt D, Mom and I would fix and then we'd visit and relax together. The first Sunday that we sat down to eat at the table was a bit awkward at first, but we managed. It was a lot quieter...I kind of missed the boisterous noise and clatter.
We're finding our way and I know that it's not always going to be easy and transitions won't always be smooth, but I know that we'll make it through.
4 comments:
I'm sure it is a lot quieter without Aunt D. there. But we've got her here and we love her, so we plan to keep her. :-)
I'm glad the changes are OK with you and you are adjusting OK. It has to be so hard. one day at a time. I just hope you're able to hold on to some of her things that Uncle M. didn't move out or put away for now. I'm sure you have been. Love you!
Lisa- I'm glad that Aunt D. is surrounded by family. I know she's enjoying being in such close proximity to another little nephew!
Dad (Uncle M.) has changed very little in the house other than painting what was Aunt D.'s room. He told me that if the room had been a more neutral color other than the pretty lilac that it was, he wouldn't have bothered with changing it. That man hates to paint!
We did have a disussion regarding whether or not keeping Mom's chair that she sat in in the livingroom was a good thing. It hurts us both so much to see it empty. I have a feeling, though, that he'll hang on to it a while longer...I figure he's allowed.
He gave my brother, A., her bible and I have some of her jewelry and a hankerchief that's very dear to me. Dad also found some journals she kept when she was younger and he plans to divide them between A. and I, eventually.
Those discussions have to be painful ones. It would be so heart wrenching for me too to see that chair empty. I wish I could hug you close right now, but instead I will pray that God holds you close for me. Sorry about the earlier message being so quick and rambling. I was at work and should have waited until I got home to post a comment. Not that I am ever very clear, but you know...one can try. :-)
Hug Uncle M. for me. We love him and all of you!
By the way, I still love that photo of you on your icon. :-)
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