In a word...

Overwhelmed-

1) to surge over and submurge; engulf
2)
a) to defeat completely and decisively
b) to affect deeply in mind or emotion
3) to present with an excessive amount
4) to turn over; upset

Most of the above definitions for the word overwhelmed perfectly sum up how I'm feelin' right about now. A few months ago when I envisioned being this close to Hubby coming home, this is not how I thought I'd be feeling. The last couple of weeks have been crazy and it seems like we keep getting hit with one financial need after another...you know, right when I'm trying to dedicate most of our savings for our upcoming getaway after Hubby comes home. *sigh*

And, yes, I have officially lapsed into throwing a full-blown pity party. Table for one, please.

I know that things will prob'ly work out in the end, but right now in this moment, I'm tired. I'm tired of handling things alone without any spouse support. In short, I am so ready for my man to be home, it's sooo not funny. When my hubby leaves, I not only lose readily available spousal input and support, I'm out of contact with my best friend as well. No, we do not have a perfect marriage and we don't always agree on every little thing, but there is definitly comfort in knowing that he has my back when I'm facing tough decisions...and vice-a-versa. Then there's the really fun part where I second-guess every decision I've made without him and begin to work out justifications to tell him when he asks, "Why?"

We've had to accept that we can't change what's had to happen while we've been apart and that we each do the best we can. We don't judge or play the "who had it worse game" because that would be a waste of time and extremely hurtful for us both.....but I still get so tense about it, for some very silly reason.

So, please forgive me for my whining and know that it won't be a permanent thing. From past experience, I know that right before he gets home, I'll be crazy excited (and very relieved). For now, I'm gonna chill with my Bubs and try to let it all go for a little while.

Peace, Y'all~
Anna K.