*thunk, thunk, thunk* "Is this thing on? Testing, testing..."

Alright, woman. This is your blog speaking!

Yeah, that's right. Your blog is speaking to you. You, the woman who used to visit me almost daily has now abandoned me in favor of a small, wiggly thing that burps a lot. I know he's cute and everything (seriously, did you see that face he just made?!) but I need some bloggity love over here, ma'am!

What do you mean you need a nap? No naps! Okay, so you only got three hours the night before...you can function on that, right?

I'll take that hand gesture as a no.

Don't be mad at me. What I'm really tryin' to say is...I miss you. We don't blog like we used to, but I understand. Life happens and, hey, if your life ain't hap'nin you have nada to blog about. So I'll leave you alone for now. I'm here whenever you need to type...

Decisions, expectations and being a SAHM

I must be honest and admit that I did not spend my time as a little girl daydreaming about being a stay-at-home mom. I didn't wile away the hours picturing myself folding endless mounds of clothes...only to pick them up and re-fold them after little hands had been busy unfolding them. I never thought that I'd pour over recipes, desperate to find something that everyone in my family would like or that keeping a house maintained would be such a struggle for me.

Nope, I didn't think I'd be doing what I'm doing now. Much less have not one but two beautiful boys!

It took me quite a bit to become accustomed to my new role once I'd made the decision to take it on. I thoroughly enjoyed working with my students and found fulfillment in helping and watching them attain new heights though each of their successes and, alternately, learning from their mistakes. To go from that to being at home by myself with a new baby (while precious, they do NOT come with a manual!) where it felt like everything I did was a failure was a bit of a transition, to say the least. Don't get me wrong, I was happy to be with the Bubs and knew very well that not everyone was blessed with the oppurtunity to be a "professional mom", but I had such high expectations for myself that I made myself miserable. Of course, post-partum depression didn't help things either...but that's another story that I don't feel like going into detail about right now.

With this new precious one, I don't feel anything like I did then. It has been a while since we've had a baby around here, however, so the Hubs and I are both having flashbacks to when the Bubs was still a baby. I think there's less anxiety involved for both of us. We don't jump at every little noise he makes or freak out as much if he cries for a second or three. Well, I don't jump but the Hubby, bless his heart, still does and it's soo cute.

I'm finding out that the very advice I gave to my students, for them to be happy in every accomplishment no matter how small, I'm having to heed for myself. Instead of expecting to keep up a spotless house (total myth, by the way), I get excited over a completed load of laundry or dishes. I feel all Martha Stewart-esque if the floors get the once over with the vaccuum/broom and whatever Swiffer product I have on hand. I'm easily pleased, y'all! Lowering my expectations that I place on myself in less important areas like housework has allowed me to better focus on the important things in my home - my family.

Yay, we've survived! Can I sleep now?

Our li'l precious has been home for a week now. With a lot of teamwork from Hubby, the mother-in-law, Bubs and me we've managed to survive. Things aren't nearly as overwhelming as they were (or felt like they were) after we had the Bubs. Maybe it's the fact that I'm a bit older or maybe because the Hubs and I now have a touch of "been there, done that" goin' on. Who knows? I'm just glad that, this time around, I'm able to simply enjoy our new precious one rather than focus on how inept I feel.

We've all been delighting in our new li'l man's many expressions and baby coos and noises. Who needs a t.v., right? When his sleepy, grey-blue eyes open we all come a runnin' and generally make fools of ourselves while trying to capture his fleeting attention. So much fun!

The Bubs is a little bummed because Gammy (the MIL) leaves to go home tomorrow afternoon while he's in school. I know that he's loved having some undivided attention after all the fuss of a new baby bro. Especially with Ammah (my mom) being in the hospital again to get rid of more harmful fluid build-up. We're hoping that she'll be able to come home in the next couple of days. Then she can get plenty of grandbaby lovin' time in!

He's here!

"Just one look and I felt so, I

I, I'm in love with you"

"I found out how good it feels to have your love

Say you will, will be mine forever and always..."

Just One Look by the Hollies

That's right, y'all! Our precious new bundle is here! After the labs confirmed that I was preeclampsic, I got the call to come in Friday afternoon to be induced....and to stay calm. Ha!

Well, at least I had our bags partially packed.

After several different bags of i.v. meds, an epidural and some really harsh/rushed contractions our little guy was born.

8:06 a.m.

7 lbs. 11 oz.

19 in. long

He looks a lot like what the Bubs did when he was born, just in miniature. The Bubs was right around 9 lbs. at birth and looked like a toddler in comparison to this new little one. And speaking of the Bubs, he is thoroughly enjoying his new role of big brother. He's always willing to lend a hand, sing a lullaby and give kisses. The Hubs and I are working hard to help him transition into new routines and to understand that we are also having to learn new routines. *chuckle* I think that threw him for a loop, but he understood.

As for me, I'm feeling like I've gone a couple rounds with a prize fighter. Even so, I'm still not feeling as rough as I did after I had the Bubs. My main problem is the usual lack of sleep and not being able to be as active as I want to be. But the Hubby is home for the next couple of weeks and I have family that's here to help (or are coming) so I'm a blessed woman to have so much available help.

Well the baby is waking up and lookin' restless...Gotta go!

"Seriously, I was not planning on bein' here all day, y'all."

I had an OB doc appointment today at around 9:30 this morning. I didn't leave the hospital (where my doc's offices are) until around 3 p.m.

Why was I there that long?

High blood pressure. Ugh.

At first my bottom number (diastolic) was high...then my top number (systolic) started creeping upwards, too. Next thing I know, I'm getting the preeclampsia speech, sent waddling down to the lab, and then making my way to the labor/delivery triage area for the baby and I to be monitored. Thankfully the jerk that I encountered at my last visit -the one who went on a Tylenol tirade last time I was there- was no where to be seen. I was surrounded with competent and caring professionals for the duration of my stay. This was great for keeping the blood pressure down...'cause going postal on that guy, if he'd have been there, would not have been ideal. I'm just sayin'.

The bp did eventually go down and the baby's heart rate was fine. I was contracting a bit, but they weren't coming at regular intervals. I was sent home with lots of advice and cautionary tales....and an obnoxious looking container to put my 24-hour urine collect in. Too much info? So sorry! Bein' prego ain't an elegant thang, y'all.

The Hubby and I don't think we're going to make the April 11th due date. Heck, my doc doesn't even think I'll be much longer, either. She says this wouldn't be a bad thing since the baby looks like he's fully developed from all the info she was looking at. We'll just have to wait and see....

"Onesies..Check! Bottles...Check! Spaghetti Sauce...What?"

Out of all the baby preparations I thought I'd be making, I never thought I'd be doing freezer or make-ahead meals. It's just not something I traditionally think of as part of a baby prep regimen. I mean, there's the equipment to research and buy, clothes to purchase and wash, deciding on some sort of birth plan, nursery prep...and the list goes on and on, right?

In some of my random baby reading, I came across an article that touted the time and money saving qualities of doing meals ahead of time or at least the basics for them for right after the baby's born. At first, while its reasoning caught my attention, I'm just not the type to be that organized as to plan that far ahead when it comes to weekday meals.

Well organized or not, I'm giving the idea a try. That's right, folks, I'm taking a couple days to chop, boil, marinate and freeze my way to some no-brainer meals that either the Hubby or I can easily put on the table after the baby gets here. You know, for when we're too tired to know which end is up, but the Bubs is home from school asking, "What's for dinner?"

I'm feelin' a bit like Kate Gosselin from the TLC show, Jon and Kate Plus Eight. She's forever doing soups and such and then loading up her freezer.

Now, I know that this concept isn't a new or revolutionary one, but it's something I've never attempted before and I'm willing to give it a shot. Besides, if it will keep us away from fast food and take out, it's worth the extra effort.

Close but no cigar...

Or should I say, close but no baby. I called the clinic today about the contractions, swelling and headache (preeclampsia symptoms) I'd had the last few days thinking my blood pressure might be too high. I was immediately told to come in to the hospital and head up to the labor and delivery triage area so they could figure out what was what. So like the good little girl that I am, I went in....

Only to be made fun of.

I swear I have an internal magnet of some kind that attracts all the jerks in the medical profession right to me. *sigh*

As I was trying to tell the female doc behind the counter what was going on, some other doc rudely interrupted us and basically told me that I was an idiot for not taking more Tylenol. I'd been told by my, admittedly ditzy doc, to go easy on med dosages and I had been trying to honor that advice. I reigned in my temper at first -not easy for a stressed out prego woman- and tried to continue talking to the doc that was doggedly trying to get things sorted out. The jerk persisted in harrassing me even after he was roundly ignored! I just kept talking right over him like he didn't exist....looking back, this is prob'ly why he wouldn't leave me alone. I mean, who was I that I would be able to ignore such a wonderful specimen of medical and manly competence, after all?

Ha! My baser self really wanted to give him a double barrel flick off, but I resisted...proud of me?

I will admit that after I was settled in the little exam room and hooked up to the different monitors, my bravado faded and all I wanted was the Hubby to be there with me. He was ready to come in at a moment's notice if something was wrong, but I told him to stay at work until we knew something definite.

I was having some minor contractions, but I wasn't dilated. My blood pressure was within normal range, the baby's heart rate was strong and I was out of there within an hour. In a way I felt like an overreactive idiot for going in at all, but then I knew that we needed to be sure that nothing was wrong.

And nothing was.